Welcome! This may be new for you, so with that in mind, I am going to share a mindset tip for you as you navigate your working with your loved one on their independence while showering.
Composure
Often, showers or baths may occur at a time when you have urgency to get to a particular destination or maybe your loved one loves water and showers. In these moments we may notice our these signs:
- Blood Pressure Rising
- Talking in a stern voice as if become frustrated
- Feel like our body temp is rising
- Wanting to “Just step in and do it!”
Composure is the key to success. As you are focusing on this one skill, try to set it at a time that is most condusive for your schedule in allowing enough time. Note your tone, volume and cadence. This means how you say what you say. The same words can be taken differently by how we say it.
My best keys to success for composure:
- Deep breathing (from your very core up through your chest, throat, and hold for 10 seconds.) and exhale. This will put you in a situation of calming as well as stopping yourself before saying something in a tone that can create a power struggle (How to avoid power struggles will be discussed in our Monthly Membership.).
- Point to the picture and allow processing time while repeating the same phrase.
- Ex: “Rinse your hair.” Count to 30, yes 30. For our loved ones who take time to process, this may be just what they need. If you repeat the direction too soon, they have to start over and process again what you are saying, which results in taking more time and frustration.
- Then after pointing and repeating for 4 times (that will total 2 minutes, but it will feel like an eternity), just point to the picture and stop responding with verbal cues (this will also prevent a power struggle with them, but you may feel like one within you until you become accustomed to this).
- Once they begin, praise! “Way to go! I knew you could rinse your hair all by yourself!!!!” By outlining what they did, they now know what is expected vs just saying, “Way to go!”
The mindset tip will take time for you too as it may be new. Allow yourself and your loved one some grace on this journey.
Know that you are amazing and we see all the wonderful potential within you!
